| TOUR
DE FORCE
25.10.05
Here's Tour Guru Ben Brind with a run-down of the club's summer
tours. Sounds like good fun was had by all....
Harpenden
Hockey Club's strength has always been its social hub. This years
tour scene has been a blast and every where we go players from
other teams seek entry to our esteemed squad.
The
2005 season was our most successful yet, with more Harpenden players
than ever joining the fold. Additionally as the season progressed
players were pulled in from Luton, Welwyn, Sonning, Fordingbridge,
Portsmouth, Cheltenham, Guildford, East Grinstead, London and
many more.
It
all started in Weymouth at Easter amongst the new faces were Munton,
Piercy, Pain & of course Junior. Amongst the new games was
the soon to become infamous “Chandeliers” a game so
terrifying that later in the year it would prove to be the demise
of even “Brind” himself. Every year one wonders if
that summer season will live up to the next. Nobody ever leaves
disappointed. The “Caravan of Love”, the hospital
trip for the newly appointed second team captain (he chipped his
femur walking into a caravan), Clark’s demolition of garden
furniture, the bed hopping antics of Junior & Watson and not
to mention the famous pole dancing of Jacqueline Smith were among
just a few of the highlights of the Easter weekend.
The
Vikings Tour in May always provides a tale or two but this years
highlight must certainly be Natalia’s rendition of Shakira
and I quote “lucky that my breasts are small and humble…”
before rolling around on the floor in front of a shocked and entirely
sober audience.
Sonning
Hockey Festival was the original tourers festival with the emphasis
heavily on drinking and team interaction as opposed to the competitive
game. Young Timms again brought his stooge Jim, who again proved
more adept at seducing the ladies, that Nigel coveted so. In fact
so popular was this tour that the team was assembled by mid afternoon
on the Friday, with what can only be described as a mountain of
hooch. It was hear that “chandeliers” aided by drinking
volleyball became the game of choice amongst the hardened drinkers.
When somebody suggested chandeliers be played using champagne
the men really were sorted from the boys. Amongst the casualties
were Junior, who for his second consecutive Sonning was tucked
in bed by 8pm and his partner Debs. Strangely however their natural
mating instincts drew them together in the night much to the amusement
of those who went to check they were still alive during the evening.
Junior
showed his prowess again at Serbiton where an all-male invitation
team went for the first time. He showed no fear as we arrived
mid afternoon plunging into various sweet alcopops. When he went
missing many were worried only to find him passed out in his tent
half way through sending his local girlfriend a text begging to
be picked up.
As
far as Harpenden was concerned the touring season ended at the
Riverside tour in mid August. Here Timms showed that persistency
has its merits. She ran, she hid and she screamed but eventually
she was too drunk and Nigel went in for the kill and got his kiss.
When new boy Scouser took one of the new girls back to his tent
he was disappointed to find her snoring and prone. Donna had already
stated that she was happy to take one for the team but Scouser
in a moment of chivalry decided not to take advantage. However,
in an attempt to maximise his chivalry he decided to wake her
rudely and tell her.
The
enjoyment of this years touring season was proven in the quantity
of players joining us from all over and as we begin to turn our
heads to the winter season we can already begin to look forward
to next years Easter festival to Weymouth.
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